Back To Reality

I'm back in DC *pout* The drudgery and drama is already kicking in again. I haven't even been back 12 hrs yet. No wonder I think this coast sux.

My plane landed a little early and the weather didn't suck too much so I didn't really have a good excuse to skip class. I went there straight from the airport but it was hella boring. Stupid guest speaker. I never thought I'd say this but, he was talking about space stuff that was way too basic for us. And he read his slides to us. I hate that. Oh well, at least I don't have anything to feel guilty about this way. And I got some exercise (?) lugging my huge/heavy bag all over the metro and downtown. (I got some funny looks too).

I've started to unpack already, sort of. None of my toiletries squished out in my bag this time (I had aloe and toothpaste all over when I landed in SD). Normally I leave stuff in the suitcase for as long as possible but I guess I'm just anxious. I have 3 papers to write by Friday and only half of the research done.

I can't wait for the weekend. My vacation was great (and I'll blog about it soon, I promise) but facing reality again means looking forward to the weekend like it were made of gold.

For now...sleep so I can research/bullshit in a few hours.

Still On Vacay

Just a quick update for everyone...

In case you were wondering how my trip is going - San Diego still kicks ass!


First night in town I hit my bar for a little cowboy time. Unfortunately the place was having an off night and was filled not with fun loving cowboys and instead was filled with pussy hounds and assholes. One of the worst nights I've ever had there. Not really a good start to my trip.

Since then I've done the following:

• Chillin at the beach with the girls
• St. Pat's in Coronado (at McP's)
• Breakfast at the traditional hangover place
• Shopping & reminiscing on Base
• Kickin' up a little sawdust with the cowboys
• Gunner Palace
• Shopping in cute boutiques
• Raisin' hell with the Marines

There are a couple more things on my list of things to do but it has been an awesome trip so far. Once I get back to DC I will blog more about the highlights but let me tell you...there is a reason they call San Diego "America's Finest City." And you'll never convince me otherwise.

Buh Bye

That's right, kids...I'm bailing, yet again.

I've been on unofficial spring break for a week, official spring break since Friday, and now I'm going to make it a genuine spring break. I'm leaving all you suckers in the cold (it snowed this morning, AGAIN) and I'm going HOME!

San Diego, HERE I COME!

I'll be back in a week...

Bai Bai now

OW

In preparing for first pilgrimage of the year, I learned the following East Coast Lesson:

Nair + Dry Winter Skin = Chemical Burn

Yet another reason I will be packing up and heading West the first chance I get.

Accents & Individualism

Do you ever notice how some people just have a knack for accents?

And there are others who can't help but talk like those around them?

When I was in the UK, I spoke English like the British.

When I was in Mexico, I spoke English like the Mexicans.

I can't help but have my speech influenced by those around me.

I've got me an Alabama Boytoy now, so guess what - I'm developing a southern accent. Usually its just a word or two but the more time I spend in SW Virginia the more converted words there are. It's especially bad when I'm talking to the dog.

I'm losing my Cali-ness. This has got to stop.

I now reclaim my individualism! (For serious)

Authoritay

I learned something new tonight...when its just the kids and me, they respect my authoritay!

I was able to enjoy my lovely bachelorette dinner (grilled cheese sandwich and mixed veggies) in nearly complete peace. A stern 'NO' accompanied by a straight look to the face does wonders. The stupid one had to be dragged off the couch but after that, things were pretty smooth sailing. She finally got upset enough with the discipline that she went downstairs to pout in her owner's room. The other two sat on opposite sides of the room and didn't make a peep. I'm not a mean step-mom, I just demand peace when I eat. There is absolutely no reason for dog drool on the edge of the table. Period.

So now that I know it works...Kids - RESPECT MY AUTHORITAY!

Ty Herndon

I heard 'Loved Too Much' for the first time tonight. It is apparently on Ty Herndon's Greatest Hits released in 2002 *shrug* Anyway...it seemed to sum up some of what my past relationships have been like and why they are now in the past - I need to be loved too much (for what they were willing to offer). I thought maybe some readers would be able to relate.

My Past
"You say you love me a little
You say you want to stay friends
You say you don't want no
strings attached
No one on you to depend

You see love as a prison
I see love as a key
You think a little is more than enough
It's not that way for me"

Why It's The Past
"I need to be loved too much
I need to be held too tight
I need to hear someone say,
at the end of the day
I'll make everything right

When the rest of the world
goes home
I need to feel someone's touch
I've been alone too long, now
I need to be loved too much

Too much sun will burn you
Too much rain, you'll drown
Too much cold will freeze you
Too much wind will blow you down

But love is something different
It disregards the rules
You call me a dreamer
But sometimes dreams come true

I need to be loved too much
I need to be held too tight
I need to hear someone say,
at the end of the day
I'll make everything right

When the rest of the world
goes home
I need to feel someone's touch
I've been alone too long, now
I need to be loved too much"

I need to be loved (for them, it was too much)

Ban the Bans

I was reading this over at Mostly Cajun and I couldn't agree more with what he has quoted.

I'm not one to light up a cigarette in a restaurant but I get really frustrated when people make a big deal out of those that do. No matter where I go with my dad, be it a restaurant or a park or even a bar, if he smells the slightest hint of cigarette smoke he's all bent out of shape about it. Now he won't say anything to the person smoking (cuz he's not rude like that) but it sort of taints our experience because it colors his attitude so much. Or maybe its me that just gets bitter at him for being so intolerant.

In his defense...He's a pharmacist by education, an oncology pharmacist by practice, and a director of medical education by trade. His father died of cancer. My mother's father died of cancer. His wife is in remission right now. My mother is as well. He's seen a lot of people die of cancer. He's seen the pain it leaves behind, even if people aren't killed by it. Maybe his severe reaction to cigarette smoke is just his desire to save people from themselves because of the way his life has unfolded.

I guess I still don't totally understand. There isn't a single person in the industrialized world that smokes and doesn't know the potential effects. Who does he think he is going to surprise by telling them what could happen? People, especially Americans, have the 'not me' mentality. Every smoker knows what could happen. I think most just believe the really horrible things won't happen to them. Maybe they don't believe that, but how many people live their life today because of what might happen several decades down the road?

Eating high calorie, high fat, high salt, high sugar food is bad for people too but do you see people raging over the guy at the restaurant one booth over for ordering fine French cuisine that could kill a man in one bite. Drinking alcohol is bad for you. Eating preservatives is bad for you. Drinking the water is bad for you. Breathing the air is bad for you. Doesn't it come to a point where LIFE is bad for you? But people don't rail on those things nearly the same way.

I happen to like the smell of cigarette smoke. When I get a whiff I am reminded of some really good times in my life. Sometimes smelling a little smoke come across my table while I'm eating actually enhances my dining experience. Why should anyone have the right to take that away from me? I don't care if it isn't socially popular.

If you don't like cigarette smoke, vote with your dollars and choose a restaurant that doesn't allow smoking. If you are a server/bartender that doesn't like smoke, choose a different place to work. If the owner wants to make it a non-smoking establishment, let him. Hell, you could even make a registry that shows which restaurants allow smoking and those that don't. Restaurants and bars could put a sticker on their door even...Then there would be no surprises.

I just don't freaking understand it...Why the hell should the government have to be a parent that these whiners go running to to make their lives better? Are you so damn intolerant that the rest of the world must adapt to what YOU think is appropriate? Restaurants don't have to serve alcohol but some of them do and their clientele is sometimes different as a result. Should we mandate that all restaurants carry alcohol? Or maybe none of them? How far should this go?

The government is not your provider or your parents...the government should facilitate a cooperative society and be your protector at the most basic level, nothing more. Grow a pair and take responsibility for yourself. Don't expect daddy government to make it all better.

"Dr. Phil" Quiz Results

How did you score? I got a 43

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your faith in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't

Dead in the Middle of the Intersection

You know, that's a good way to get hit...

but then again, that's sort of what I'm hoping for...

The way I see my life, I have two options.

1. Be the good little wife/mother
2. Be someone important in the world

I'm not really feeling either one at the moment. The two paths are crossing at the moment and I'm about as effective or reactive as a deer caught in the headlights.

I'm not cut out for being the good wife/mother. I like the idea of being the woman that takes care of her man but I can't have kids. Physiologically, sure. Realistically, no. Someone would end up dead. Everyone tells me that I will feel differently as I get older but I just don't see it happening. I've babysat for kids of all ages, I've been around them. To top it off being in the house with three dogs (that aren't mine and I have no influence over) is just trying my patience. If I have to clean up dog urine off the floor one more time I'm going to scream. She's not my dog but if I'm the only one home, I have no choice but to clean it up. I don't know if she just doesn't understand the concept of potty training or if she is acting out. Her owner is a Vet but she's so busy/stressed and a sucker for animals so there's no discipline. Just playing the role of mommy for a few days has turned me into complete bitch.

I have serious doubts about my being someone important in the world. My academic life/drive leaves much to be desired. I'm sitting on 4 separate research assignments right now. I can't be motivated to think seriously about a single one of them. It isn't that the topic suck. They are interesting - the weaponization of space, science/technology, drug trafficking, corporate/government relations. I just don't care anymore. Really. I just don't care. How on earth I'm going to get a meaningful job, I have no idea. I don't think I'm cut for playing the games and rolling in the high stakes.

So where does that leave me? Dead in the middle of the intersection. And I'm hoping I get hit - with a sign, some direction, inspiration, just something...

I don't mind my life being somewhat isolated even if it does make people question if I am an agoraphobic person. I'm not anti-social, I'm not afraid to leave my house. People, as the general population, piss me off and I prefer to avoid that frustration. I spend a lot of time alone and I don't like doing unfamiliar things alone. Hence, I spend a lot of time at home and with my computer. I'm really ok with that. But it doesn't make for much of a realistic future.

So, again...I am lost...

Awww...

Tell me this kid doesn't look like a baby hippo...

Norman is at his cutest when he's tired

Fat Days

I'm not sure how many female readers I have but if you're there, you'll appreciate this...

I went to get dressed the other day and my ass just did not fit in the pants I was trying to put on. And I don't mean I put them on and pranced around wondering if my ass looked ok in them. I mean my ass did NOT fit in these pants. I picked up a different pair and resigned to wearing the fat pants. I hated every minute of it, but I had to wear pants to class. (I suppose I didn't HAVE to but...I'm not really looking to make that kind of impression on campus. Not just yet). So I go to get dressed the very next day...let me repeat, THE VERY NEXT DAY, not even 24 hrs later....and a pair of pants 2 sizes smaller fit just fine. And the scale says I weigh 2 pounds less than last week.

No, gentlemen...I did not shrink the larger pair of pants...they are just as fat as my fat pants have always been.

I just don't have an answer...