Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Odd Connection & Upset

Despite never having met her or really commented much on Smash's blog, I've been following the progress of Mrs. Smash since she was thrown from the horse. Well, it has led to me doing a lot of thinking (I know, this can't be good...).

First of all, why is this affecting me so much? Probably because of the fact that they are from San Diego. I feel an immediate connection to anyone in San Diego. No matter how long I live on the East Coast I am desperately homesick for my beloved Pacific. Somedays I'm better at ignoring it than others. Most of the time I don't even realize that is what has tarnished the cheer in my day.

The second reason its affecting me so much is because I'm feeling a little stupid and foolish. You see, a while back I had a series of falls that ultimately left me with some serious back pain. One down a flight of stairs at a boyfriend's house (he's long gone from my life, btw). One down a flight of stairs at my parents house (which neither of them own anymore). And the final and most brutal, running start to a slip off the entryway tile onto my ass on the kitchen tile with my back hitting the single step between them. After the final fall I had the wind knocked out of me, lay on the floor gasping for air, and could do nothing but eek the word "mommy" as pain took over my entire upper body. I laid there silent, just happy I was able to breathe, with tears streaming from my eyes as I was unable to actually cry with such trauma just inflicted.

Normal people would have sought medical attention for such an incident. But not me. Coming from a medical family, I trusted their words. They chalked the emotional response up to the scare factor of it all. No X-rays, no MRI, not even a doctor's consult. I went back to college a few days later and my mom never said another word about it. For the next several months I was unable to rotate my upper body without experiencing intense pain. It often felt like I had an arrow piercing my body since the same place on my back and in my ribs would hurt if I moved just right. Eventually it healed on its own but I swear by all things holy, I am shorter because of it.

At the persistent urging of someone else, and for another injury, I went to see a chiropractor a few months ago. His initial exam revealed a compression fracture, albeit a healed one, that was jacking things up in general. I saw him a few times but he's in another city so I don't see him on a regular basis.
I've been too stubborn to find a chiropractor where I live and since its already healed I don't see much urgency. I just feel foolish for never having had the injury treated in the first place. I have the highest hopes for Mrs. Smash's recovery and wish I could do more to help her.

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